I'm down 2.6 lbs. for a grand total of 18.4 lbs. lost. Yay, me.
Supposedly, Ruby is going to be at Northwoods Mall next Saturday. You can go and meet her and walk with her. I haven't been able to find anything on the internet as to what time. Someone at work just told me about it. But if it's convenient... Maggie, are you in? I'm so ess-sited!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Still waiting for a witty title to come to me
Well, there's not much to report lately. I still feel kind of blah & tired but I'm working through it. I'm not quite so emotional as before. Ha. If you believe that...
I went to Georgia last weekend and had a good time with Sandra. We had some of our old favorites, so no, I didn't do wonderfully. But I didn't gain any weight on the trip. I've even gone down a little since getting back. But I'll wait until Friday to officially weigh in & post it.
Oh and I even tried the Zumba class at the gym last night. Well, I really only stayed for like 20 minutes because we had already worked out. It was kinda fun. Sandra asked if it brought out my inner-Latina. And while I wish I had one, I have to say no, it did not. Getting the rhythm down was difficult. But not nearly as frustrating as the step class that almost made me cry last week. I said ALMOST! Ughhhhhhh........ I have issues.
Oh and on a side note, I've turned Zumba into a verb: "I totally Zumba-ed last night!" "Did you see me Zumba-ing?"
Okay, enough for now. Debating on whether or not to actually hit "PUBLISH POST". Sigh.
I went to Georgia last weekend and had a good time with Sandra. We had some of our old favorites, so no, I didn't do wonderfully. But I didn't gain any weight on the trip. I've even gone down a little since getting back. But I'll wait until Friday to officially weigh in & post it.
Oh and I even tried the Zumba class at the gym last night. Well, I really only stayed for like 20 minutes because we had already worked out. It was kinda fun. Sandra asked if it brought out my inner-Latina. And while I wish I had one, I have to say no, it did not. Getting the rhythm down was difficult. But not nearly as frustrating as the step class that almost made me cry last week. I said ALMOST! Ughhhhhhh........ I have issues.
Oh and on a side note, I've turned Zumba into a verb: "I totally Zumba-ed last night!" "Did you see me Zumba-ing?"
Okay, enough for now. Debating on whether or not to actually hit "PUBLISH POST". Sigh.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
The Whole Truth
I guess I haven't posted lately because I don't like to post the bad things. My blog is supposed to be fun and funny and I don't want to be a downer. But I've definitely been struggling the last few days.
Over the weekend I allowed myself to have my "free day" as usual. And I have just NOT wanted to get back on track since then. I'm mad. I resent the fact that I can't eat the foods I love more often. I'm mad at myself that I let myself get this way. And even when I have a small feat--choosing the apple even though I don't want it, or working out even when I'm tired and it would be much easier to stay home--I'm not happy about it. I'm not proud of myself that I made that one, good decision. I'm just frustrated and resent every bite of that apple and every step on that treadmill.
I know that losing weight and maintaining it will be a life long struggle for me. I get that. And if I gave into temptation I know I would feel worse and more ashamed--not better. But that doesn't really make it any easier. There are times when I just want shove the nearest thing into my mouth regardless of what it is. Not because I'm hungry but because I have an overwhelming urge to eat. It's like my drug, I swear. And more than once I have stopped myself by thinking, "If I eat that, I'm choosing to do so. I'm choosing to stay fat." I just can't go back to that. There's no future in it.
But even though I can control myself here and there doesn't mean the urges go away. It's getting harder and harder to deal with. I don't know what to do to make myself feel happier about it all. I never thought losing weight was going to be a cake walk (Cake!) but I have to make myself believe it's possible. I desperately want to be thin and goodness knows I'm trying. But I see my old habits coming out and it scares me. It's the intense inner battle that I never really expected.
I know part of the reason I'm so down is because I'm tired. I have to wake up around 5:00 a.m. to go to work. I get home around 5:00 p.m. I go to the gym after work for about an hour. And then I have to come home and do homework for awhile. By this time I'm exhausted but I have to make my lunch for the next day, do laundry, whatever... I rarely get 8 hours of sleep a night. More like 5-6 hours. I just don't know how to cram it all in though. I have to workout. I have to do homework. And most unfortunately, I have to go to work.
So here you have it. My "woe is me" blog. I know it's just a slump and I'll get past it. (I hope.) But I'm still reminding myself that I don't have Ebola yet (there was a close call) and things could be worse.
Over the weekend I allowed myself to have my "free day" as usual. And I have just NOT wanted to get back on track since then. I'm mad. I resent the fact that I can't eat the foods I love more often. I'm mad at myself that I let myself get this way. And even when I have a small feat--choosing the apple even though I don't want it, or working out even when I'm tired and it would be much easier to stay home--I'm not happy about it. I'm not proud of myself that I made that one, good decision. I'm just frustrated and resent every bite of that apple and every step on that treadmill.
I know that losing weight and maintaining it will be a life long struggle for me. I get that. And if I gave into temptation I know I would feel worse and more ashamed--not better. But that doesn't really make it any easier. There are times when I just want shove the nearest thing into my mouth regardless of what it is. Not because I'm hungry but because I have an overwhelming urge to eat. It's like my drug, I swear. And more than once I have stopped myself by thinking, "If I eat that, I'm choosing to do so. I'm choosing to stay fat." I just can't go back to that. There's no future in it.
But even though I can control myself here and there doesn't mean the urges go away. It's getting harder and harder to deal with. I don't know what to do to make myself feel happier about it all. I never thought losing weight was going to be a cake walk (Cake!) but I have to make myself believe it's possible. I desperately want to be thin and goodness knows I'm trying. But I see my old habits coming out and it scares me. It's the intense inner battle that I never really expected.
I know part of the reason I'm so down is because I'm tired. I have to wake up around 5:00 a.m. to go to work. I get home around 5:00 p.m. I go to the gym after work for about an hour. And then I have to come home and do homework for awhile. By this time I'm exhausted but I have to make my lunch for the next day, do laundry, whatever... I rarely get 8 hours of sleep a night. More like 5-6 hours. I just don't know how to cram it all in though. I have to workout. I have to do homework. And most unfortunately, I have to go to work.
So here you have it. My "woe is me" blog. I know it's just a slump and I'll get past it. (I hope.) But I'm still reminding myself that I don't have Ebola yet (there was a close call) and things could be worse.
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