Cycling Puts the CROTCH in Crotchety

Bueno! (Don't know if I can really use that since I'm not answering the phone.. or Pedro's sister.. But I'm saying it anyway!) I have seriously been AWOL the last couple weeks. Which quite rightly, you might assume means I've been a glutton. We've had various company in town, one after the other.. Which means lots of dinners out. My blood type is now Pinot Grigio. I've been trying to be good for breakfast and lunch, but then the dinners out have been killing me.. and my stomach. My body is rebelling. I have been good the last couple days, but I need to really get more strict. Must go to the grocery store tonight to replenish my supplies.

Soooo...... I don't know what possessed me to try cycling, but I did last night. I think Maggie suggested we try it about a week ago. But I thought it sounded fun and I was willing. I like Tread & Shed, but I thought it might be neat to try something different. She actually didn't have to drag me kicking and screaming into this one, like she has with some other classes. :) I tried cycling one time at Gold's Gym in GA. It was part of an interval class so it was only 20 mins. But it was enough for me to know that your crotch should never feel that way. So I've been terrified to try it since then. Even when I committed to trying the class this week, I was warned by no fewer than 3 people that my crotchital region would be über sore. But everyone also said that you get used to it after a few times. Do I want to get used to that sensation? The jury is still out on that one..

Maggie got my bike set up for me. It's quite a hike to get up there for my 5'2" self. Not to mention.. that even though I'm 2 in. taller than Maggie, our legs are the same length.. So my seat was like as low as it would go to accommodate my freakishly short legs. It felt pretty awkward at first. I felt far away from the handlebars. I can't really reach the water bottle holder well with my T-Rex arms. And it takes a lot of balance. I felt like I was circus folk on a unicycle. And of course, there was the searing pain in my crotch. There is no good spot. You try to move your butt all the way back.. and it doesn't help. You move your right cheek over.. then the left. Nope, no reprieve. I felt like I was riding on a broomstick. But at some point, you've gotta suck it up and ignore your crotch. You can quote me on that.

So class starts and the instructor had us do sprints, turn the tension up, stand up.. all kind of things. But ya know.. The class seemed to go by pretty fast. I never really thought about quiting. Standing up and cycling is hard because you have it on a higher tension and there's more resistance.. You feel like you're walking through mud. But it's the one and only break that your bum gets.. So you actually look forward to it. During one particularly intense sprint, the instructor said we had one minute left. And then she said, "You can do anything for a minute." And I thought.. You know what, I can! So I pedaled furiously for the last minute.

The music pumped up with the fast beats really gets you going. It was definitely hard, but I can see myself getting into it. I will try it again. Uhhh, but let me tell you... Today I feel like I've been viciously assaulted by more than one person. My tenders are tender. I feel like I need to be sitting on an inflatable donut. If you have one, please let me know. I cannot even describe to you the specific area that is in so much pain. It's not my butt exactly.. or my crotch, precisely.. but somewhere in between. I do not know how men take that class without seriously limiting their chances at reproduction. 'Nuff said.

I've been avoiding it for like two weeks, but I finally weighed myself this morning. Shockingly, I'm only up 1 lb. Maybe it's because I've been good for the last few days and then cycling shocked my system. But I'll take it!

Until next time... take care of yourselves.. and your crotch. That's another one for the books.