I Hate Mother Nature

I'm blaming her for staying the same this week... It makes me think of the annoying Mother Nature lady in the green suit from the Tampax commercials. (That woman is perfect for that role, by the way..) I am a little disappointed. But next week has got to be better!

We had a good workout at the gym last night. I tripped and almost fell off the treadmill while watching Salt & Pepper get his elliptical on. (Which Maggie laughed at me for.) He is just too darn cute! And he has lovely triceps.. I also ogled Ginger Gladiator's arms for awhile. I wish the original Gladiator was there last night too! They all work out in the same area.. I was hoping for a Trifecta of Manliness.

Oh, speaking of Ginger Gladiator.. I am a little disappointed in him. I saw him chatting it up with the Jersey Shore guys last night. Are they friends?! Ick. And speaking of the Jersey Shore guys.. I had a run in with the uglier of the two. We were doing side leg lifts on the treadmill.. and lifting a weight with the same arm.. And he walks behind my treadmill and goes, "Now don't kick me when I walk by! Heh." Really? I have the shortest legs in the world. The possibility of that happening is slim to none. Unless you want to get a little closer, and then I'd be happy to kick you. Was that your attempt at humor? Go back to the boardwalk.

I have a new guy to add to the Field Guide! I present to you... Grotesque Sweaty Man! "Grotesque" was Maggie's description of this unfortunate fellow. He sweats more than anyone I've ever seen. He'll get on the treadmill next to you and run for half an hour while dripping sweat all over the place. When he's done, he's literally wiping sweat up off the floor and the treadmill belt. It's really nasty. I mean, kudos to you for working on your fitness and all... But I think he has a glandular problem, for real. Might want to get that checked out, buddy.

Anyway.. The workout was good and went by fast because of all our laughing and chatting. And I was even vindicated when just before we left, Maggie tripped and almost fell too. hehe Love ya!

Clash of the... Treadmills?

Good morning! Time for a mid-week update. Last night was Tread & Shed with my favorite instructor, Shannon. I don't know what got into her, but she decided to change things up last night and make it harder. She made us do the usual sprints, jogs, lunges, squats, leg lifts, etc.. But the real kicker was when she made us get off the treadmill in groups and crouch down and do side shuffles across the entire length of the gym and all the way back. It looked like a football training move or something. They were so hard! Not to mention that Ginger Gladiator was doing weights right in front of me as Betsey, Bertha, and I jiggled on by. Embarrassing much? But it sure got my heart rate up.

The Jersey Shore guy (who was ogling Maggie stretching before class) wouldn't do it! He made some whiny comment about how he was jogging and he didn't want to mess up his pace and time and blah, blah. Umm... Sorry Vinny, or whatever your name is, but those were HARDER than the sprint and definitely got the blood pumping. He just was embarrassed and didn't want to look stupid. Well, ya know what... Strength in numbers. We were ALL doing it! I'll be the first to tell you, when it comes to working out I'm freaked out by trying new things. But I did it! You just got shown up by a chubby white girl... oh, and the whole rest of the class.

Then Shannon had us get behind the treadmill and do squats where you leap up and power lunges.. And who needs a 10 minute cool down when you can run a 10 minute mile at the end of class instead?? If you were near death (as I was), the option was to do a fast walk on a 10.0 incline for the 10 minutes. And why stop there! After turning the treadmill off, we had to run manually. Do you know how hard it is to make a stopped treadmill belt move? Yeahhh.. I literally thought I might vomit after that class. She hasn't made me want to puke since the first class! I was even more sweaty and red faced than usual.

But I didn't have time to relax when I got home. I had to hurry and shower & change so we could go see a movie. Clash of the Titans! Sam Worthington... that man... Oh my word. The things I would do. Aaaanyway, I brought my own 94% fat free popcorn and Diet Coke. The guys bought popcorn and Cokes there. Want to hear something disgusting? A SMALL buttered popcorn is 630 calories and 50 grams of fat! How is that legal? And then I would have gotten a huge Cherry Coke for 310 calories. That's insane! That's 940 calories and not even including dinner I'd have either before or after. It's pretty sickening to think about.

Afterwards, the guys wanted to go to Buffalo's for beer and wings.. No real temptation there. I didn't want to drink since I had to work today. And while I like buffalo sauce and the flavor on chicken or something.. I am not interested in chewing on chicken bones. A lot of work for a little meat just so you can get filthy and greasy. No, thanks. As my Grandmommie says, "Honey, those are the parts I throw away before I cook the chicken." So I had three huge glasses of water with lemon instead. I drank two bottles of water at the gym and two at work. I definitely met my water quota yesterday.

I'm happy I'm back on track! Yesterday was a good day. :) I'm hoping for a decent weigh in on Friday!

Everyone Should Name Their Lady Lumps

An actual email conversation between me and Sandra yesterday:

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Sandra - So you’ll be very happy… tomorrow I’m wearing my flowing black skirt with my black and white pumps and….. wait for it….. wait… wait…… A FUCHSIA COLORED KNIT TOP!!!

Me - Ok... give me a second.. I just fainted. (*Sandra's wardrobe consists of black, white and more black.)

Sandra - LOL! SHUT UP!! The Destiny's Child song just popped into my head.. "Can you handle this? I don't think you can handle this!" Te he he. I'm so scared my boobs will look huge but my waist is smaller and I'm lovin' that!

Me - "I don't think you're ready for this jelly..." Your boobs ARE huge, dear. Work it!

Sandra - UGH! Whatever! You’re right! I’m definitely wearing it!

Me - PLEASE take a pic! Do you think you can handle it?? You know you'll get 564351321 compliments tomorrow. It might help if you name them.

Sandra - Spanish names??

Me - Sure! One should def. be Lupe. What goes with Lupe?

Sandra - NO! NO LUPE! I hate that name! pick again!

Me - Lupe is a great boob name! We're not picking out your middle name! These are for boobs! Okay, fine.. Ummm.... Rosalita? *(Sandra has no middle name and we've been trying to come up with one for the last two years.)

Sandra - YES love Rosalita…. Te he he

Me - Rosalita and Rosalinda?

Sandra - Leigh Ann said Carmelita!!

Me - Is that even a name?

Sandra - Yeah.. Carmen..

Me - Sounds like a dessert.

Sandra - Okay Rosalinda and Rosalita!

Me - Is it weird that I named your boobs?

Sandra - No, if you were Catholic, I'd let you baptize them.

Me - hahaha That's great. We could still have some sort of ceremony.

Sandra - You could sprinkle some vodka on them.

Me - Yes, we should totally do that.

Sandra - Can I throw a shower for that?

Me - Sure! Everyone has to bring a present!

Sandra - For me, of course! No bras!
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So, my friends. This is when I decided that everyone should have names for theirs. You know mine are Betsey & Bertha. Sandra's are now dubbed Rosalita y Rosalinda. Renee admitted hers are the Olsen Twins. If yours have names, post them in your comment. If not, make some up! :)

Weigh in update... SAME! Blah. :( But hopefully getting back into my workout routine will help! I did see Gladiator & Ginger Gladiator at the gym last night. Gladiator... Oh.. my.. word.. That man's arms are off the charts. Whew. Maggie can attest to that!

I can't wait to read your comments!

That Witty Title Still Hasn't Come to Me

Hola, chicas. Sorry I've been M.I.A. Spring Break week was a busy one for me with my nieces in town. Last weekend I had company of my lovely cousin. And besides that.. I've just had a lot of stuff going on. I will tell you one thing.. I am officially emotionally drained and ready to move forward! I'm not letting things get me down necessarily. But it's just hard to overcome something when it's constantly in your face everyday.

Things haven't been all bad. One highlight.. I won tickets to a free Uncle Kracker & Rehab concert last week. While they are not my favorite bands and I only knew a few songs, it was so much fun! Even despite being the D.D.! I wore a pink cotton dress that did wonders for Betsey & Bertha. (My boobs! Betsey is the left one and Bertha is the right because she's just a tad bigger than Betsey.) I must admit that I looked really cute. The highlight was definitely a tall cutie vying for my attention all night. It made me happy to no end that he was not all over my sister (as they usually are) and he was actually interested in me. A really cute guy liked me! Quite the ego boost!

And besides that, I felt liberated after my crappy week.. I am a young, single woman and I can go to a concert on a Monday night if I feel like it! I'm not tied down and I don't have to answer to anyone. This is what I SHOULD be doing in my 20's. And it doesn't hurt that there's a hottie by my side offering to buy me drinks.. I still turned into a pumpkin at midnight.. Because Tall Hottie is not my dream man. (Although he was dreamy.) But it was fun. :)

Back to the grind this week though. I have been doing fine on my diet but definitely slacking in the gym area. So last night I went to Tread & Shed. UGH. It kicked my butt! It's like starting over. It was good though. I burned a little over 600 calories. Sadly, I did not see Salt & Pepper. I did see Ginger Gladiator though. My back was all sweaty by that time, so I'm sure I didn't impress him.

I wish I didn't look so gross after a work out. I definitely do not "glow" - I full on sweat. And my face turns bright red. My hair sticks up all over the place. I look like I'm about to go into cardiac arrest. I see these cute little girls at the gym in their matching outfits prancing around after a workout like it was nothing. Will that ever happen for me? Maybe the matching outfits part. I can't wait until I get skinnier so I can buy some cute gym clothes!

Sooo... I have to admit. I have not weighed myself in like two weeks! I've been scared to. I guess because I slacked off at the gym. BUT I promise to weigh in Friday. EEK!

hahahaha

Just saw my race pics. They are not post-able. I'm holding my boobs as I run! hahaha Yeahhh, the sports bras I bought before the race still don't quite fit. Sooo.. I had to do something so the girls weren't jiggling around too much! Wow. My first race and the photos are obscene. ;)

Okay, here's that funny story I promised. Rachel was riding in my car the other day.. And out of the blue she blurts, "You need to find a boyfriend!" After all the laughter died down, I asked her WHY she said that. And she said, "Because you want to get married and you live with your GRANDPA!" I was like.. Excuuuse me, he's YOUR Grandpa, my dad. And so I asked her who I should marry. And she said, "I don't know. I don't know people YOUR AGE." Like I'm so old.. She promised to keep her eyes peeled for me. I'm workin' on it, sweetheart. ;)

Say what?

I don't know how it's possible.. Maybe because I didn't feel good last night and went to bed without dinner.. But I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 4 lbs! That's 20 lbs. total! I'm still kind of in shock! But it's a good shock. :) Finally! It feels good after staying the same for a couple weeks. And 20 lbs, HELLO! That's kind of a big deal. ;)

The race pictures still aren't posted! I'm kind of bummed about that. But I'll keep checking throughout the day. I think today is going to be a good day!! :) Happy Friday!!

Field Guide to the Hot (And not so hot) Guys @ Pivotal Fitness

• The Jersey Shore Guys - This type of male should be avoided at all costs. They can frequently be seen in pairs, as their egos need constant stroking. They consider themselves to be Italian stallions and God's gift to women. The are usually too bulky, and as a result, have problems walking like a normal human being. This is what we refer to as a Monet. It looks good from far away, but up close it's one big mess. Look closely (if you dare), and you will find that the Jersey Shore Guys are not at all hot. You can find them grunting in true neanderthal fashion as they lift weights that are far too heavy for them to handle, in the hopes that they will be seen by others doing said reps. Beware, ladies. The Jersey Shore Guys might try to make an appearance in your treadmill/aerobics class. Actual quote: "Yee-ah, we're only takin' this clay-us bee-cawz we heard there might be some hawt chicks in hee-ya." How they ended up in South Carolina is still a mystery, pending investigation. In the words of Miss Pitty-Pat from Gone With the Wind, "Yankees in Georgia? How did they ever get in!"

• The Gladiator - My favorite eye candy at the gym. The Gladiator has perfectly formed arms. He likes to wear sleeveless shirts to show off his buff Arms of Manliness. Unlike the Jersey Shore Guys, this is acceptable because The Gladiator is indeed hot. You can find him at the pull-up machine doing countless reps. I recommend finding a good perch on the treadmill to watch this elusive creature. You will find your eyes going up and down in sync with the pull-up machine. The Gladiator knows he's hot and will smile back if he catches you staring at him.
  

• Salt & Pepper - Salt & Pepper is a hot, prematurely graying guy in his 30's. He does not have huge arms like The Gladiator, but he looks like a more approachable, normal guy. Salt & Pepper doesn't know he's hot, and that's half of his charm. He usually hops on a vacant treadmill a little more than half way through Tread & Shed. If I'm lucky, it's one next to me. I take extra delight in stretching slowly after class when he's about 8 inches away from me.

• The Ginger Gladiator - Much like the original Gladiator, but in Ginger form. Surprisingly attractive & always on the elliptical or doing pull-ups. I had the pleasure of being on a treadmill behind him while he worked out on the elliptical on Monday. I had a fabulous view of his amazing arms and muscle-y back. And let me just say.. All that ellipticalling has been good for his glutes.

• The Off Duty Cops - Not hot. And just a little FYI - If you can see me, I can also see you! Stop staring at me from the other side of the gym while you're resting in between doing reps. (You do more resting than actual reps.) You're balding and paunchy and probably thinking about your next donut. You only have a gym membership because you get some sort of cop discount and you feel special rolling up in your Crown Vic. You know who you are.

I hope these definitions will give you ladies a little more insight into the guys at my gym. So the next time I mention "Salt & Pepper", you'll know exactly who I'm talking about. :)

Take My Eyes, But Not My Diet Coke!

Hello, readers! First of all, I wanted to give a shout out to my friend, Dalys. She's started her own weight loss blog. Check it out! http://dalyoliva.blogspot.com/ You'll do great on your 5k, chica!! I might become a zealot and recommend that everyone sign up for a race to motivate themselves. ;) I really feel like if I can do it, anyone can! You'll surprise yourself. :)

Also - If I have any other lurkers out there, PLEASE feel free to leave comments & pass my blog along! I eat it up! I love getting feedback from you all. Comments = Happy Liz = More blog posts. :)

Okay, here's the dealio. I've been doing good exercising.. and I've been doing OKAY with my food. Like, I haven't been pigging out or anything or eating horribly. But I've just been snacking too much, I think. This has led to me pretty much maintaining my weight. I need to get more strict with my diet. I think I'm going to start next week with a new meal plan!

The first week is sort of a detox BUT this is not some unhealthy, fad diet. It mainly just cuts out processed foods and you stick to protein & fresh fruit/veggies. You eat a few small meals a day and it's PLENTY of food, which I like. The only thing I might have an issue with is the no caffeine thing for the first week. Eeeek! Caffeine is my friend! Me and Diet Coke are like this (::fingers crossed::). But I have been advised that if you have a serious caffeine addiction you can try to wean yourself slowly off the stuff instead of going cold turkey. I apologize in advance for possibly becoming a snarling beast next week. I watch "Intervention", okay. I know what a crackhead without their crack looks/acts like.

I am going to weigh in tomorrow, as usual. EEK! I promise to post the results whether it's good, bad, or ugly.... I am also DYING to see my individual race pics! They say they will be posted by tomorrow! I hope it looks decent! If it's not too horrible, I might post it. No promises!